What Are Your Children Really Learning After School?

I recently had a parent ask me about some of the challenges they were having with coaches and mentality of the many of the after school sports. As I spoke with her and reflected on the nature of after school sports these days I thought about a recent experience I had as one of the track & field coaches at Royal High School in Simi Valley.

I have had the honor and opportunity to be a coach for one of the local high school's pole vault squads for the past four years.  Many have asked with my schedule, why I would take on such a commitment.  The answer is simple - it's about kids.  There is no greater sense of accomplishment than to see a young woman or a young man glowing with the joy of success.  Success, not in the spirit of winning, but in the spirit of conquering their own limitations that they've placed on themselves within their mind.  This is the joy that comes from knowing that they were the best they can be for that moment.  But having known that moment, they will always have the opportunity to be there again. It is my belief that this is where the true winning is - in our own mind, not based on the medals or the trophies we were given.

Unfortunately, there are those that do not have the same belief. I recently participated in a track meet, where I was told by another coach that they wanted to rush the event along to get to the top three to five competitors.  And when asked about the impact this had on the other 20 that were also there to experience the event, he simply shrugged it off and said, "call it what you will."

What values do we teach our teens and children when we act this way? Is it really a matter of being on top, being elite, being the winner or is it more about the road, the effort, the growth, and the developing of a mature mindset that has character and integrity.  I would submit to you that it is the latter.  That is what coaches are charged with as their responsibility.  In the end, if in the process of developing that character and integrity there are losses or defeats along the way, have we not still served the greater good?  And I would submit to you an emphatic "YES".

Although I did not understand this at the time, I was fortunate that my coaches, and my martial arts instructors were more concerned about developing my character, my integrity, my focus, my determination and my belief in myself than a simple win that came from a place of ego and significance.

Mom always said that I would be judged by the friends I keep.  I would say that it goes further than that and that we take on the values of those that we surround ourselves with. As a result, it is important to look at what is being taught to our children not only in our schools but in the after-school programs we have them involved in.  We need to realize that the lessons (typically the more important lessons) our kids learn go far deeper than the mere physical activity. As such, consider the values, the respect and the integrity that is being communicated in these programs to our children.  The benefits of an appropriately focused after-school program can go far beyond what meets the eye.  Just the same, the negative impacts can also go far beyond the eye.

Quality after-school programs can have far-reaching benefits. Though not always immediately evident, the benefits for students include increased learning, improved health, increased exposure to career choices, and enhanced social and psychological development. (U.S. Department of Education and U.S. Department of Justice, 1998).

Some of the benefits that can come from the right program with the right coach or teacher include:

Improved Student Performance. Properly structured after-school programs can play a large role in improving student esteem and achievement. By actively engaging the child in structured after school programs you provide a nonacademic vehicle to further develop the child's focus, determination, respect  and independence.  A martial arts program at a school that focuses beyond simply taking the children through punches and kicks and has an instructor that comes from the traditional roots that created the arts creates a fertile environment for our children to grow.  Other benefits that we have found to be a result of the proper martial arts training include:

• Enhanced ability to stay on task - especially with the increasing kids being diagnosed with ADD;
• An outlet for kids to move and stretch, not only their bodies but their creativity and minds too;
• Increased ability to co-exist and integrate with other kids in a safe environment instead the increasing trend of isolation that has come with the technological advances of the day;
• Increased respect for others and their accomplishments, which in our school is continually modeled, beginning with bowing onto the mat, lining up in order of belt rank, not age, paying tribute to the accomplishments of each student, and ending each class by thanking the teacher and the other students.

Healthier Children. Properly structured after-school programs promote healthier habits for our children who would otherwise be home playing video games or living a more sedentary lifestyle.  There has been much press about the nature of obesity and physical activity with our youth.  A martial arts program provides a great vehicle for the physical development of our children through the structured approach to the training.  Further, with the proper focus placed on respect you will find that your children will grow to not only respect others more readily but learn to respect themselves.  With this respect will come a variety of other benefits including:

• Decreased likelihood of substance abuse
• Enhanced nutrition and wellness
• Increased opportunities to engage in fitness activities

Development of Leadership Skills. In addition to direct academic and school-related benefits, after-school programs can be beneficial to students in many other ways. For instance, we have the kids at our school get involved in various community service activities and events we also require our students as preparation for their black belt testing to perform a "Community Service Day".  This day is meant to bring focus to the fact that our children need to be grateful for the gifts life has given them. It allows them to understand that giving back to the community makes the community a better place for all and gives them the gift of giving or the feeling of being able to make a difference in someone's life beyond themselves.  We view our students as they develop as leaders and to be a leader they need to be an example as well as set an example.  With this focus we can develop a more compassionate nature within our children which leads to less sibling problems, fewer behavioral problems and a greater level of social skills.

Give the gift of growth, character and integrity to your child by looking beyond the physical activity before choosing the after-school activities to place them in. Remember some of the most important lessons are those that we don't see on the surface!  If you have any questions or comments please contact me or come in and visit us.  Until next month remember - "Ordinary Things Consistently Done Create Extraordinary Results!"

I welcome your thoughts, comments and questions.

Here is to your success!

Sensei Abraham

http://www.BusinessSuccessSensei.com

http://www.MelAbraham.com